Old Crow out of Hell

Last April, I made some noise about a Meat Loaf promising to play “For Crying Out Loud” in The Netherlands, and that he’d better keep his promise.

After last night’s concert in Amsterdam, I’m kinda glad he didn’t play it. It would probably sound just as bad as all the songs he did play. One of our national newspapers said he screeched like an old crow that didn’t know when to sing what line. Meat Loaf was absolutely fuckin horrible. When the highlights of your concert consist of the solo-spots of your backup singers and the instrumental breaks, somethings terribly rotten in the state of Denmark.

The most cringe worthy part of the evening was when during “You Took the Words Right out of my Mouth” (of which he only played the chorus). With no regard to his own abysmal performance, Mr. Loaf decided that one guy didn’t sing along good enough to suit his fancy, and tore the guy a proverbial new one. When he asked if the audience was ready to sing along, I inexplicably heard myself yell that we were, but we’re just waiting for the fat guy on the stage to catch up.

Meat Loaf should just call it quits. And I say that as a fan. The last three concerts I’ve seen him do, range somewhere between “just about barely acceptable” (Amsterdam 2007) and “makes a root canal treatment without any anesthetics seem like a good pretty idea” (Cologne 2007). Last night’s show comes close to the latter one, and if I had to label it, I would probably be something like “sounds offensive even when you’re deaf”.

The only redeeming factor last night, as far as I’m concerned, were the band and the music. As a Steinman fan, I’m in it for the music. The singer I heard in my head was a lot better than the one on stage. And the band, well, they’re absolutely fuckin fabulous. Mad props to all of them, and especially to the amazing Patti Russo. Why she still hasn’t got an album out (or songs for sale through anything else but iTunes) is a mystery to me.

In fact, I think the band should fire their singer, and put the amazing Patti Russo up front. Or alternatively, they should march up to Jim Steinman’s mansion, send forth a herald, and proclaim that since his The Dream Engine seems to be dead in the water, he might as well give them some new songs, record them with whatever singer who’s name isn’t Meat Loaf and is still able to carry a tune, and tour the hell out of it.

If I were a wise man, I should say that this has been the last time I went to a Meat Loaf concert. But as he plans to record a decidely “un-Meat Loafy” album early next year, a new tour seems to be inevitable…