Remember l’espirit d’escalier? So, today, when I was telling a colleague about my weekend, that I had six friends coming over for diner and I made this amazing risotto with tomato braised chicken and balsamic marinated strawberries for desert, she said to me that I’d make an amazing son-in-law, and I was all, like, “I know, right?!” while, of course, I should have been all, like, “Don’t tell me. Tell your mamma.”

I’m the emperor of unsnappy comebacks.