First Lines: Unidentified Funny Objects 2

Right after I finished reading Unidentified Funny Objects, I cracked open volume two. Figuratively speaking, of course, as breaking my e-reader would be a waste.

Like the first volume, UFO2 contains a smothering of funny stories. Some favorites: “Class Action Orc” by James Beamon in which an imprisoned orc acts as a public defender for another inmate. His opponent is an elf and a talking sword. In Esther Friesner’s “Service Charge” we meet a dragon who has to endure security theater, and from “Item Not as Described” by J.W. Alden we learn that you shouldn’t mess with sellers on eBay. Matt Mikalatos’ vampire-vampire hunter-hunter from UFO1 makes a reappearance in “A Stiff Bargain”. This time, he has to take on Katie Lou Riley, who is more formidable than her name suggests. In “On Safari” (Mike Resnick) two salesmen win an all-inclusive safari on an alien planet, and in “How You Ruined Everything” (Konstantine Paradias) you get your classic don’t-mess-with-past-when-you’re-time-traveling. Exactly what you’d expect such a tale to be, but funny. Finally, there’s Tim Pratt’s “The Retgun” in which two secret agents of the Sublime Union of Ethical Anarchy and Sustainable Hedonism go and make everything better.

UFO2 is available from UFO Publishing.

Book read
Unidentified Funny Objects 2 (edited by Alex Shvartsman)
First line
On the second day after the spaceship Princess of the Nebulae left Earth, God spoke to Rebecca. (from “The MSG Golem” by Ken Liu)