Did I Say That?

random thoughts and other junk


2003: Lists (Music, books, and stuff)

Album of the Year
1. Evanescene - Fallen
2. Opeth - Damnation
3. Epica - The Phantom Agony
4. Meat Loaf - Couldn't Have Said It Better
5. Apocalyptica - Reflections

Most Disappointing Album of the Year
1. Iron Maiden - Dance Of Death (It's not only the album cover that is bad. The rest of the album ain't that happening either.)
2. Metallica - St. Anger (not that I had that much high expetations, but still)
3. Aina - Days Of Rising Doom (with so much good musicians you should do better that that)

Song of the Year
1. Meat Loaf - Did I Say That? (James Michael)
2. Apocalyptica - Faraway (Eicca Topinnen)
3. De Poema's - Romeo (Thomas Acda / Martin Buitenhuis / Sandro Assorgia)
4. Opeth - Death Whispered A Lullaby (Mikael Äkerfeldt / Steven Wilson)
5. Bløf - Barcelona (Bløf / Peter Slager)

Concert of the Year
1. Opeth, October 5, 2003, 013, Tilburg (seated)
2. Lana Lane and Erik Norlander, June 30, 2003, De Boerderij, Zoetermeer
3. Meat Loaf, April 23, 2003, Heineken Music Hall, Amsterdam

Most Disappointing Concert of the Year
1. Evanescence, October 18, 2003, 013, Tilburg
2. Lacuna Coil, December 28, 2003, Tivoli, Utrecht

Musical Discovery of the Year
1. Evanescence
2. Classical music
3. Symphony X
4. Rocket Scientists
5. Tanz Der Vampire

Remake of the Year
1. Evanescence - Whisper (1999, "Sound Asleep EP")
2. Bon Jovi - Keep The Faith (1992, "Keep The Faith")

Most Useless Remake of the Year
1. Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells 2003

Cover of the Year
1. Apocalyptica ft. Nina Hagen - Seeman (Rammstein)
2. Lana Lane - Still Loving You (The Scorpions)
3. After Forever - The Evil That Men Do(Iron Maiden)

Best Music For A Movie
1. Mike Vogel - If It Ain't Broke (Break It) (MTV's Wuthering Heights)
2. Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King

Best Live Version of the Year
1. Acda en De Munnik - Lena (Groeten Uit Maaiveld Live)
2. Star One - Live On Earth (the whole album. period.)
3. Opeth - Face Of Melinda (Live in Providence Bootleg)

Vocal Performance of the Year
1. Mikael Äkerfeldt (Opeth's "Damnation")
2. Irene Jansen (Gary Huges' "Once & Future King part I")
3. Kelly Keeling (Erik Norlander's "Music Machine")

Things I really want see in 2004:
1. A new album by Within Temptation
2. Tanz Der Vampire in Hamburg
3. Meat Loaf's "final" world tour in The Netherlands

Best Books I've Read
1. Stephen King - The Stand (the complete and uncut edition)
2. JK Rowling - Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
3. Stephen King - Dreamcatcher
4. William Shakespeare - Romeo & Juliet
5. Stephen King - The Dark Tower IV: Wizard & Glass

Things I really want to do in 2004:
1. Graduate
2. Getting higher on the ladder
3. Reading more good books



Two thousand and three has most definitely not been my year.

January started off with some more attempts of finding an internship, which was needed in order to graduate. They failed. Some more school, some exams, and there it was: a big, black, empty hole to fall into. And I kept on falling, and falling, and started to float towards the end of February. By then, the vast cloud of gray dreariness had saturated every pore, and started to seep though all final defenses. Something must be done, someone suggested I should talk to a psychologist. And I did.

Before we get to that, let me try and explain something about myself. I utterly detest talking about myself. I can't do it, and I won't do it. Every time I have to say what really bothers me, or what really gets to me, I completely lock up. I try to evade the subject, find a way around it, laugh it off, whatever gets me out of it. Even as I type this, all my internal systems are in overdrive to stop me from typing. My gut is clenched, my throat is dry, the feeling in my legs is fleeting and I start to retype every sentence at least three times to get that precise angle which takes most, if not all, edge of the message it should convey.

So I went to this student-therapist. Let's say that the intake interview was not much of a success, and the man thought he needed more time than was available, so that was a no-go. I should find a psychologist who had more time for me, i.e. find a "professional" one. Since I had to swallow a lot of pride to go to this guy, and I did not have the idea there was something seriously wrong with me, I threw his advice in the wind.

In the mean time, I had a lot of time on my hands. The inspiration to go and hunt down an internship was nowhere to be found, so I had time to kill. I had a project on which I could work, this website, but that was nearing completion very fast, so I decided to find some work. I visited some job-agencies, and one had a semi-interesting (part-time, so I could still track down an internship) job.

To use the correct term, I became a professional mover. Personally I like to add the prefix "non-voluntary", 'cause that is what it really was. Evicting people. I came across some really, uhmm, odd situations while doing that. Ranging from "normal", fully furnished houses to abandoned bars, and from living rooms filled knee-high with empty beer cans to apartments full of high-tech equipment that was left at the side of the road, in the drizzling rain. I did that from, say early May to the end of the summer holiday.

While I was busy moving people, some of the people who were able to find an internship graduated. I was asked to compile a tape which featured almost all graduates answering some really lame questions into a useable version, and together with Dappie, I did that. We had some fun too. And while I was at it, I also got involved in some technical support, setting up amplification and stuff... had some fun too. There is one moment from that day that vividly stands out from the rest from that day: when Arie got his diploma, I had a hard time holding back the tears. He may think that the study was way too easy, and that he never should have made it, but I guess he'd be quite embarrassed when he finds out just how much I envied him on that moment. But me being me, I put on my happy face, and tried to make the best of that day... resulting in a little bit of a breakdown at night. Not that much fun.

Still moving people, by the way. Towards the end of the holiday, I steadily intensified my hunt again, and alas, no result. Except a huge fall back into that hole. After some new encouragement I finally made the step to a "professional" psychologist. Had some sessions, and then some more, and still having them. In the mean time, still looking out though.

One morning, I was barely out of the shower, my phone rang. The curriculum coordinator had gotten some e-mail from a company looking for an intern. The Republic of Suriname needs some online promotion and "official" web sites (embassy, foreign affairs), and after a meeting, I saw enough interesting points to take it. Not quite what I was looking for, but at the moment I really need to get this study over with, before I really loose all touch with it.

That's pretty much it. If it were up to me, this year never happened. If it were to start over again Wednesday night, I wouldn't mind at all. Most of it has been a complete waste of my time. But since I know it won't be starting again, I'd better make something of the next one.


Insert Message Title Here

Not to disappoint Arie, but according to Googlism he is not the Root of All That Is Evil™ - Lo and behold!

william is a cutie
william is here
william is ready to go
william is home
william is least popular flatmate
william is hot
william is een echte gentleman
william is strong leader
william is crazy
william is the best i have seen
william is the central character of the movie
william is four miles away
william is on the cover of people again
william is not "missing in action"
william is a very tall man and he is very thin
william is born
william is unclear from the text because she quotes loosely
william is just an ordinary guy who wants to know the truth about what is happening and wants to share that truth with anyone willing to read or be read to
william is in orbit
william is content with his life
william is the embodiment of uncool
william is one of the greatest poets in the world
william is under a massive amount of pressure in the position that he is in
william is a nice guy as far as i know
william is going up the slide the right way
william is a cutie
william is a bad man
william is worried
william is totally right
william is not 'fair game'
william is hot
william is the antichrist

Pay close attention to that last one I'd say... So I'm the antichrist he? Well, then I'd like to know why. My 'friends' at Google told me that it is all a misunderstanding: there is another William who truely is The Antichrist! I'm in good company, it seems...

But anyway... nothing much to tell really.

And since I also seem to be one of the greatest poets in the world, I'll leave you all with a quote from one of my poetical heroes, Johnny Bravo:

I'm a poet
Yet I don't know it
I make a rhyme
Every time


OK, You Really Got Me Now

While cleaning out my old log, I took the one test I posted there again. Result? The same. I guess nothing ever really changes...

This quiz says absolutely nothing about your personality. Take it!

Not even the music...
NP: Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell - 01 - Bat Out Of Hell [09:52]

Another fun day at the office...

Updated the website... yay

Don't feel much like talking, so I'll leave it at this, OK? Fine.


And another blog bites to dust...

OK, all seems to work. Why the change you ask? Not because I plan to post more (well, actually, I do plan to do that but that's not the reason), but because the old log-thingy I used was not so compatible with what I actually wanted. So I changed the lot. Old posts are gone. Big shock I suppose.

Arie asked me in the only comment on the old 'log' why I haven't told him (or Pjotr or Dappie, or anyone else for that matter) about this site. Couple of reasons:

1st: It's not that special, now is it?
2nd: It's a personal site. Not a site for all (both) my friends to visit.
3rd: It's still buggy as hell. I would have told you when I was satisfied with it (and as you've already guessed, that would be never).
4th: Does it matter anyway?

I think not, and leave it at that for now.

NP: Fire Inc - OST Streets of Fire - 01 - Nowhere Fast [06:04]

New blog time

Changed my blogging system. This is the first test.